Friday, April 1, 2022

Player Stereotypes You'll Encounter in ELDEN RING

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Player Stereotypes You'll Encounter By Mister B A field guide containing info on some of the specimens found in The Lands Between. Strength Chads Mainly use Colossal Swords Cosplay as Guts Play the game as intended STR being garbage doesn't bother them Total bros Bring gods to their knees by using bare hands Dex Virgins Mainly use Katana weapons The faster a weapon is the better Love anime Own at least one katana in RL Elden Bling is as edgy as possible Shout the name of their Ash of War out loud every time they use it Burger King Play the game on Easy Mode Always use Jellyfish Spirit Ashes Hide in the back and let others do the work for them Look like Burger King cultists Spends 0 levels into Vigor Bloody Bleeders White Mask is Elden Bling standard Say bleed is fine and will defend bleed as if their lives depend on it Always use Lord of Blood's Exultation and Rotten Winged Sword talismans Mainly use katanas Will commit seppuku in RL to boost bleed build up Followers of Faith Don't exist Frenzied Freaks Exclusively use Frenzy spells Always use Vykes Spear That one crazy guy in class everyone seems to like Love the max Madness animation and think it's the coolest thing ever Yellow eyed bois Don't care that Madness is just a worse bleed, because it's way cooler Laugh maniacally IRL when someone becomes mad Got any grapes? Meta Slaves The Gideon of meta builds Only use builds that are marked as "OP" Get their builds from Reddit, popular Youtubers or Streamers Incapable of coming up with own builds Actually maidenless in-game and in RL Abuses weapon glitches Manly Memers Elden Bling consists out of wacky combos Themed Co-op with friend Use weird weapons/shields Total bros Love gestures The reason you're maidenless Kage Bunshin no Jutsu Wants to play the game on Easy mode without feeling guilty about summoning people Goes AFK during boss fights Tired of scrub summons Doesn't admit to playing on Easy Mode Deletes every other Spirit Ash Furled Fiend Only hangs out around boss gates Beating a boss once isn't enough Host of Fingers doesn't exist The cool kid in class but no one is aware of it... yet Boss co-op is true end game The definition of the word "Chad" Sunbros Use summoning pools exclusively True masters of co-op Don't care where they end up, a good time will be had Know all the secrets The supportive friend of the group Used the Red Effigy by accident that one time and got ass blasted You owe this guy 20$ still The Babysitter Plays co-op with a friend who's new to the game Level 200 Loves escort duty missions Hates invaders and has an written essay on Reddit about why Invaders should be optional or completely removed The Baby The main focal point of The Babysitter Has 2 phantoms Always has the White Cipher Ring toggled on Uses their phantom buddies as bloodhounds while watching from afar Alt+F4 when phantoms are killed Softbanned Invasion Enthusiast The reason you're softbanned Will either be very serious or be as annoying as possible to the very end T-baggers Make your life miserable Thrive upon the excitement of Invasions Git Gud The Police Sees activity once every 10 hours of playtime Host already disconnected or died when you arrive Wants to be an invader but wants Easy Mode Will end up an invader eventually Prophunt Like Hide And Seek Playing a completely different game Masters of parkour, no place is off limits You probably walked past them 10 times by now Feet Worshippers Only use this to look at feet Only have screenshots of feet and nothing else Their most burning question is how Malenia's feet looked like before the redesign Wonder why Elden Ring is finger themed and not toe themed Court Jester Try fingers but hole Try jumping Hidden path ahead Has at least 1 of the 3 listed above in their message list Browses Reddit for popular messages to copy them Thinks jokes from 10 years ago are still funny Message has 100+ ratings but most of them are downvotes Ranni Simps Have all 10 message slots dedicated to Ranni Have no taste in waifus Own a Ranni bodypillow Want to **** a doll Make the Dung Eater's defilement feel like nothing compared to what these guys would do 4 arms cool Ranni uses magic, therefore she plays the game on Easy Mode

 


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